An Unemotional Emotional Breakdown

So... we got robbed. Weirdly, I didn't have anything stolen. I mean, my jewelry box (full of cheap necklaces, earrings and bracelets) and ODM watch were stolen, but I surely won't miss them (except for the rose ring from my dad). It's a different story for my mom and little sister, though. Bunso lost her laptop, kikay kit (weirdly, they didn't take mine) and wallet which contains her yearbook payment and one week allowance. Mom also lost her laptop and pencil case with 2 flash drives with all her life documents in it. And today, I woke up and saw my mom crying. CRYING. Lately she has been so emotional that the emotional me has been forced to calm down and man up. Because when you see your mom falling apart, you won't have time to fall apart yourself. Because at least one person has to act all brave and strong. And it has to be me. I mean, no one's asking me to take that responsibility, but I feel that I have to take it. Because no one else will, no one else should. So yes, I have temporarily stashed my emotions somewhere far, far away. When will they come back, or would I ever want them back, I do not know.

Also, in times like these, I got to know who really cares. But as of the moment, frankly, I do not care who cares.

---

Now playing: Pearl Jam - Even Flow

[Untitled]

Kung papayagan mo lang silang makapasok sa buhay mo, malalaman mong hindi naman talaga malungkot ang mundo. Kung magbibigay ka lang ng kahit kaunting puwang, malalaman mong may gustong pumuno sa kung anumang kakulangang hinahanap mo. Kung bubuksan mo lang ang mga mata mo -- tunay na bubuksan at hindi basta imumulat lang -- makikita mong may marunong pa ring magmalasakit at magbigay nang walang hinihinging kapalit. Maniwala ka sa kabutihan ng tao. Maniwala ka na may nakakarinig ng panalangin mo. Maniwala ka na ang bawat hininga mo ay hindi lamang basta hanging gamit na at walang saysay. Maniwala ka na may magbabago, lalo na kung gugustuhin at aaksyunan mo. Maniwala ka sa sarili mo.

Yeah, well...

Today comes the painful realization that no one knows me at all. No one can understand my one-word sentences, no one can interpret my lopsided smirk that I pass off as a smile (mostly when I'm pissed off), no one knows me well enough. It's as if no one had bothered to look under the hood because what they have seen on the cover seems to be not worth the effort.

No one knows my density.

---

Now playing: Tegan and Sara - Clever Meals

[Favorite Memory]

 September 22, 2012 Saturday

---

Now playing: Birdy - The District Sleeps Alone Tonight