November 10th

There he was, telling me how his parents raised them. They were seven, he and his siblings, and he told me that because of that bond, kinship, he can never say no to any of them, even if it means that he won't have anything for himself. I found myself weeping, not because of sadness, but because of the realization that I am in love with this wonderful person and he doesn't know his wonderfulness because it has been implanted in him such that what's unusually good for me is normal for him. I wept because I can never be like him and yet he's there, also in love with me and seeing the good in me.

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Now playing: Anne of September - Someone Like You

On the relationship status change: From single to a relationship

To be honest, this feels different compared to the last one. I mean, I wasn't really expecting to engage in yet another office love thingy. When I said that I wasn't traumatized, I was lying. Because I was traumatized. Vow-to-never-love-again-ever-bury-yourself-in-work kind of trauma. I felt like I was in a circus and when I failed to do the tricks, everyone started gawking and laughing and saying "I told you so". And nothing's worse in the world than hearing "I told you so" from the people who never told you anything. Anything. Like "he doesn't seem to like you that much, get away from him ASAP" or "he's a douche, don't you see that?". This time feels different because for some reason, I feel like I'm receiving a blessing from everyone (or at least from the people that mattered to me). Like they approve. Like I have a lot of people who's got my back. And then I have this wonderful man. Not a boy, a man, in every sense. And this will sound so cliche, but I feel his genuine affection slash appreciation for me. The bottom line of this, really, is that it feels fucking fabulous to be loved for who I am and not for who I am envisioned to be.

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Now playing: James Morrison - I Won't Let You Go