I'm not angry, really. No. I'm simply scared. For my heart. Because I feel like it's about to be broken again. Because I have been in there. I have lost something, someone and it fucking hurts because unlike being hungry or thirsty, this has no immediate remedy. Once you have your heart broken, it's broken, it's scarred for life. And see, I know that those scars are beautiful in that they're proof that I have loved, but see, the scars make me crumble and want to just close up. Because it frickin' hurts. So yes, I don't want to have it broken again. And I'm not really in the right mind or state of emotion to be talking about, well, emotions, but I feel like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff, about to fall, without no one to catch me. Because I have nagged and clung him into possibly unloving me. And I can't help it because that's who I am. And I have tried to unhinge and to not talk and pretend not to care but pretending is too exhausting, especially when he's breaking down my walls.
I hate being me.
Now playing: Grey's Anatomy Season 6 OST
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